Greetings and welcome to Next Bet’s weekly preview of the weekend’s action – we have lovingly pored over the continent’s fixtures to find you the value bets that make you say ‘thank you Sir, may I have another?’.
We start off at Goodison, last week’s lunchtime kick off involving the Toffees killed my acca stone dead before the 3pm kick offs had begun. That defeat by Wigan in the FA Cup could prove very damaging for Moyes’ boys. Not only did it kill off their only hope for a long awaited trophy : but the way in which they were dismantled by Martinez’ mix ‘n match outfit could prove psychologically damaging for their already faltering league campaign. Seeing the Everton fans heading towards the exit gates before half time was the biggest show of disloyalty in Liverpool since Alex Curran went on a night out. Turning on Marouane Fellaini was slightly odd when they had players like Phil Neville on the pitch – some people say that Phil has a face only a mother could love but Gary got jealous at these suggestions. Manchester City have been playing very well of late, last week they dismantled a Barnsley outfit like the Pope toying with an altar boy’s rectum. They know that any slip up would end their vague hopes of usurping their local rivals for the title and with a major clear out expected in the summer, a lot of players are playing for their future. I expect City to have less trouble with Everton than Carlos Tevez does with understanding his correspondence from the DVLA.
Sky Bet offer 21/20 on Mancini and co to be over the ‘blue moon’ after this one
.
Next we head off to St Mary’s, as Pochettino’s Saints take on an in form Liverpool side. Southampton were grateful to Artur Boruc’s penalty save last week, after Grant Holt suffered the indignity of missing a penalty that he had won after a dive where he dropped to his knees as gracefully as a Norfolk stable girl sucking off her horse. Holt was also subjected to the chant of ‘you’re just a fat Rickie Lambert’ from the away support. However, a 0-0 draw at Carrow Road preceded by a defeat to QPR are not encouraging signs for the South Coasters. Some say that Liverpool’s defeat of Spurs last week was flukey, however the Rodgers (cod) philosophy is starting to make sense. Philippe Coutinho has looked an inspired signing and even Stewart Downing has resembled a footballer in recent weeks. Luis Suarez versus Yoshida and co could result in a Titanic mismatch. That reminds me of an old joke. What do Wayne Bridge and the Titanic have in common? Neither should have left Southampton. Good old Wayne, plying his trade in Brighton now, apparently he’s been getting a bit worried because he heard John Terry had been getting into The Saturdays. Some confusion surely. Anyway, this won’t be a happy Saturday for Poch Man and co, as I fear Liverpool will have them chasing the ghost. I expect the Scousers to take the spoils in this one.
Sky Bet offer5/6 on a Liverpool win
and they are odds that Luis Suarez would love to get his teeth into.
As you know, we are no snobs at ‘SFTW’ and we move down the ladder a couple of rungs to feature a League Two encounter at the Keepmoat Stadium where Doncaster Rovers take on Portsmouth. This is pretty much a top versus bottom clash although Pompey are now up to the heady heights of 23rd but remain firmly entrenched in the relegation zone. Sad times for Pompey, who now have a smaller squad than my five-a-side team and are dropping quicker than a sailor’s trousers in a poop deck. Doncaster have surprised a lot of people by maintaining their form since the departure of Dean Saunders. Although judging by Wolves’ form since he took over, they may have got a lucky escape. Donny haven’t beaten Pompey at home since 1979, pre-Thatcher or for you Pompey fans, pre-Yates’s. Rovers’ celebrity supporters include Jeremy Clarkson and Paul Daniels and I expect them to win this one without having to hit ‘top gear’ or turn on the magic. 4/7 on a Rovers victory , I like that but not a lot.
Don’t worry those of you who have been waiting for a bit of continental flavouring, we have saved a delicious Italian dessert to polish down your British spit roast. AC Milan take on Palermo at the San Siro and ‘Meelan’ will be smarting after having a Messi bottom spanking at the Camp Nou on Tuesday. However, they couldn’t ask for a much kinder fixture than facing a Palermo team, who are without a win in 14 games and without an away win all season. This looks a veritable home banker or as some people call it online banking. After a week in which most Italians have been distracted by Papal conclaves, expect Palermo’s vague survival hopes to disappear in white smoke as Balotelli and co lead the Rossoneri through the confessional and on the road to redemption.
Bet 365 offer 2/7 on black and red to come in
(always a good wager in Roulette).
We hope this weekend proves a good follow up to ‘Steak and Blowjob day’, or if you’re single ‘surf ‘n’ turf day’ – surf the web and turf one out. I’m off to introduce Carlos Tevez to Chris Huhne, apparently there has been some suggestion that Vicky Pryce is a worse penalty taker than Grant Holt, anyway don’t drop the soap near the Pope! I’ll see you next week.
By Jamie Ellis
