Welcome/willkommen/bienvenuto to the latest perfectly sized instalment of ‘SFTW’. This week we bring a European flavour to proceedings, as we aim to find the perfect blend between continental breakfast and british fry up and ‘Pep’ up your bank balance, a la Guardiola – as we aim to Merk(el) the Bookies.
So, let us start at the Allianz Arena, in a top versus bottom clash, one of those that you can’t wait to get on your weekend acca’s. League leaders Bayern Munich take on Bavarian small fries (kleine fisches) Greuther Furth. For those of you amongst us who are not Bundesliga aficionados, it’s a bit like Manchester United v Oldham Athletic (in the Joe Royle era). Not a lot of people know this but Henry Kissinger is a Furth fan but there is more chance of a second Vietnam breaking out than there is of Bayern not winning this one. Obviously, the big news in football this week was Pep Guardiola accepting the Bayern Munich job, no one has made the British tabloids look sillier since Jimmy Savile. It has been mentioned that Pep not being able to speak the language could be a bit of a drawback but it didn’t affect Basil Fawlty or Alan McInally. Pep’s move to Germany has been the biggest boost to the ‘sexiness’ of the nation since RTL started free porn teasers. Those generous guys at
Bet 365 offer 2/7 on a Bayern victory (-1)
and in the post war era, it is a lot safer to back a German handicap.
From Bavaria to Sicily, where Palermo take on Lazio at the
Stadio Renzo Barbera. Carrying on a vague theme, it’s second top v second bottom. Lazio have won five of their last six, Palermo have lost five of their last six. When these two met at the Stadio Olimpico back in September, Lazio won 3-0 thanks largely to a stellar performance from the German ‘Pole’ Miroslav Klose, I can’t even use the gag that it was ‘Klose’ than the scoreline suggests, I expect a similar victory this time. However, the chances of Miroslav waking up in Sicily with a Tesco burger on his pillow are surely not something we want to speculate on. However, you may well want to speculate to accumulate (see what I did there?) on a win for the ‘Biancazzurri’.
Betfair offer 2.6 on a Lazio win
, back that if you don’t want to be sleeping with the fishes.
Back on familiar turf with the bread and dripping of the Premier League now, where West Ham take on QPR. The Hammers’ form has been as erratic as Sam Allardyce’s facial growth of late, however the R’s have been rejuvenated by the arrival of everyone’s favourite ‘wheeler dealer’ (‘don’t call me that) ‘Arry Redknapp. Harry has been attempting to round up French mercenaries quicker than you can say ‘Les Miserables’ of late. Loic Remy could well make his debut this week at the Upton Park Donkey Sanctuary (all sizes and colours welcome). The Hammers do look desperately short of firepower and the names of Carlton Cole and Chamakh strike more terror into women than they do Premier League defences. QPR have stiffened up at the back of late, not surprising as Clint Hill and Ryan Nelsen are definitely old enough to know all about stiffness. However, I fancy Rangers to win this battle of the Westfields (obligatory London gag) and take the points back to Shepherds Bush, Bush, Bush (and another). If you want to hedge your bets, like Harry Redknapp at a ‘drive thru’ or Harry Styles at Nick Grimshaw’s tradesman’s entrance –
Bet365 offer 5/6 on a draw or QPR win
.
The glamour fixture of the weekend takes place at White Hart Lane, as two of the most attractive sides in the league meet on Super Sunday – as Manchester United visit Spurs. United have won five and lost just one of their last six and Spurs are unbeaten in their last five at home, so maybe the safe bet would be to go for a draw, however bear in mind the fact that United don’t really ‘do’ draws in the same way that Wayne Rooney doesn’t really ‘do’ penalties or Michael Carrick doesn’t do ‘looks’. Spurs will be missing the shooting prowess of Emmanuel Adebayor, although its probably best to avoid any jokes about shooting with ‘Nice Guy Ade’, as he returns to Africa. Manchester United have scored more headed goals than any other team in a major European league this season and we advise you to use your head and get on
The Red Devils at 11/8 to win with Bet365
.
Visit Bet365 and click on Euro Soccer Bonus on the right, they are offering a maximum 100% bonus in accumulators placed on matches in top european and champions league teams.
Anyway, in these troubled economic times, it is important that we bring you the best value possible. So please remember an HMV voucher is for life not just for Christmas, I’m off to get my nose powdered with Didi Hamann. ‘Auf Wiedersehen Pet’, as the French girl said to her German horse.
By Jamie Ellis
