Spring has sprung and as the nights get longer and the season draws closer to its end, we bring you an eclectic preview of this weekend’s action from Lancashire to Lisbon via Paris and Rotterdam. It’s not a low budget final series of ‘An Idiot Abroad’, it’s Something For The Weekend.
It’s only right that we start with the league that some people have described as the most competitive in Europe : The NPower Championship. A league so unpredictable that we usually avoid it like the plague. However we’re going to go out on a limb here (no Boston jokes, thank you) and predict a Bolton victory at The Reebok against a Middlesbrough side, so short of confidence that they are considering bringing Schteve McClaren back just to stand under his umbrella-ella-ella. Boro need to win all of their three remaining games to have any chance of qualifying for the play offs. Up until their shock midweek victory against an in form Forest side, they had been in a run of form so bad that some had suggested that Tony Mowbray had metamorphosised into Jimmy Nail and that Boro were just a tribute act of the side that had started the season off so well. Conversely, Wanderers’ season has been seen out in the opposite way. A horrible start to the season which lead to them replacing a Scotsman with a penchant for shorts (Owen Coyle) with a Scotsman with a penchant for suits (Dougie Freedman). Bolton have picked up 21 points in the last ten games, better than any other side in the league. I expect them to bounce back strongly after defeat by fellow play off hopefuls Leicester. Kevin Davies – a man whose backside rivals Kim Kardashian’s for size, although apparently Big Kev has marginally more talent had been consigned to the bench of late, getting splinters in that rather large posterior. However, expect Sordell, Ngog and co to be a pain in the backside for the Riversiders.
Bet 365 offer 3/4 on a win for Dougie Fresh and his Reebok classics to ‘keep risin’ to the top (or at least into the play off spots).
Next off, we head off to Rotterdam – the Eredivisie is a league that we have neglected this season. For that we apologise but it is a little rude to ‘GoDutch’ too early in a relationship. Just one point separates these two sides and both have an abundance of attacking talent. Vitesse striker Wilfried Bony (Daddy Cool to his mates) has scored a massive 30 league goals this season and is sure to be one of the most coveted marksmen in Europe, cometh the season end. Don’t be surprised to see the Ivory Coaster on the Premier table next campaign. Ronald Koeman’s men also have a free scoring hot shot in Italian journeyman Graziano Pellè. Three facts about Graziano : he speaks four languages fluently (but not Dutch), he has scored 23 goals this season and my friend Carlo has shagged his girlfriend. Mamma Mia! Like Carlo, I expect both of these teams to be scoring this weekend and the 1/2 offered on this happening looks spliffing value . It’s a little known fact that Holland has the highest population in Europe, however this game should be as exciting as 2 Unlimited’s comeback tour. Techno, techno, techno, techno!
Part three of this week’s avant-première takes us to Paris, where the PSG glamour boys take on Nice. Rumours have been heating up this week that Wayne Rooney could be joining the Paris revolution next week. Wayne, Colleen, Zlatan – ménage a trois? Who nose? Anyway, back to the matter in hand – PSG despite being in indifferent form, still maintain a nine point gap at the top of Ligue Une. Despite this, their hunger is still in question – after a cup defeat this week by Evian, Carlo Ancelotti laid into the attitude of his players. However, that should all be (bottled) water under the bridge now and I expect them to demolish those Nice guys and take a step closer to the title.
Bet 365 serve up a tasty 9/20 on a St Germain victory
and those odds look way less skinny than Posh. Oh mon Dieu!
Our final game of the weekend takes place at the Estádio da Luz or Stadium of Light, as they call it in Sunderland. A huge game for Benfica, as they look to take a step closer to an incredible 33rd Primeira Liga title. Sporting Lisbon – one of the traditional giants in Portugese football have fallen on hard times of late and find themselves firmly entrenched in mid table mediocrity (mediocre may be being kind). Benfica have been extremely impressive domestically and in the Europa League this season with Oscar Cardozo and Lima proving to be an extremely spicy South American strike force. The Eagles are incredibly still unbeaten this season (winning ten out of twelve of their home games). They will want to maintain this until the end of the season and I see no other outcome than a victory for Jorge Jesus’s side (a man who seems to have provided divine inspiration at times). They should enjoy it while it lasts, as come the Summer – Europe’s elite may be swooping on Cardozo & co. For now though, they can push on in their quest for silverware – I don’t even give Lisbon a sporting chance in this one.
Get on the 4/11 on Benfica with those nice chaps at Sky Bet.
Thanks for reading this week’s musings, we hope you look back at the end of the weekend with a little smirk on your face as you reread this week’s offering but always remember that the only perfect science is hindsight. I’m off to get my money back for my last haircut, I asked for a ‘Justin Bieber’ and the cheeky bastard shaved my pubes off. After that, I’m heading to Shoreditch to gurn the night away until I’m pulling Phil Jones faces with my hipster glasses. Toodle pip.
By Jamie Ellis
