I hope you all had an enjoyable festive period ; the football feast over the holiday season is something that is as unique to the British Isles as Greggs and Eastenders. We aim to guide you in the right direction for this weekend’s action and to provide you with a welcome distraction from the boxsets and the Quality Street.
Talking of quality, where else not to start than Villa Park and a relegation scrap between Aston Villa, who have managed to leak twelve goals in two games and Wigan who have lost five of their last six away games. However, I am thinking outside of the box here (much like Harry Styles) and I expect this to be an entertaining game. Yes, really!! It has been said that there haven’t been so many clueless youngsters in Villa since the Geordie Shore lot showed up in Cancun but Paul Lambert and Roberto Martinez are two bright bucks with points to prove. Christian Benteke who is as raw as the Wu Tang Clan like it should find the net in this one.
Bet 365 offer 13/5 on the young Christian rising to the occasion
like Cliff Richard at a Top of The Pops 2 Christmas special.
It’s Mr. Nice versus Mr.Pies at the Madejski, as Brian McDermott, the man who looks like he is about to burst into tears at any second takes on Sam Allardyce, a man who just looks like he is about to burst any second. Reading are still firmly rooted in the relegation zone, however they have looked more resolute of late and after a gritty but ultimately fruitless visit to the Etihad, they did manage to keep a clean sheet at home to Swansea in a punchless Boxing Day bout. Allardyce is a man with more misplaced confidence than a fat girl on a Club 18-30 holiday and with a more selective memory than a Downing Street policeman. He may not remember that the Royals beat the Hammers twice last season but I do and
Bet 365 offer 15/8 on a Reading win
which would put the biggest smile on Brian McDermott’s face since he got mistaken for Matt Lucas in Waitrose.
Next, we head to the Emirates, Arsenal enjoyed an extended break over Christmas due to their Boxing Day postponement. This allowed Arsene Wenger to head down to Sports Direct on Holloway Road to get a new jacket, Marouane Chamakh managed to spend over a thousand pound on hair gel (that should last him a few weeks). There has been rumours of discord in the Gunners camp of late, which was not helped by the fact that Gervinho was charged £300 at their £100 a head Christmas dinner. I did predict Newcastle to end their winless streak last week at home to QPR, however they suffered a potentially psychologically damaging defeat at Old Trafford on Boxing Day. The last time Newcastle suffered as bad a start as this in the league was 1988-89, this was also the year that Cheryl Cole tasted her first choc ice. I see goals in this one and those nice guys at
Sky Bet offer 13/8 on 3.5 goals or more
, one thing is for sure, there won’t be 3.5 goals, unless Sepp Blatter brings in some emergency rule changes.
Sunday’s kick offs bring us two London v Liverpool match ups which conjures up all kinds of comparisons. Stones v Beatles. Made In Chelsea v Desperate Scousewives. Working v not working. Chelsea’s form has been imperious of late and their demolition of Villa was followed up by a highly impressive victory at Carrow Road, where the goalscorer was the Premier League’s form player, Juan Mata – a man who has been so inspired by Rafa Benitez that he has also decided to cultivate his own poor facial growth. Everton are a tough nut to crack but Chelsea have big cojones, Everton have conceded in their last 14 games and Chelsea have scored 12 goals in their last three games.
Bet 365 offer 8/13 on both teams scoring at Goodison
and that looks better value than Paul McCartney’s botox.
My dirty delve into the world of the NPower Championship proved relatively successful last week, so this week I expect smiling faces in Middlesbrough, Cardiff and Hull and that’s not just because ITV are screening a 24 hour Jeremy Kyle marathon’. I’m off to spend my Amazon voucher that I got for Christmas, I’ve got my eye on two piranha fish and an anteater. See you in 2013.
by Jamie Ellis .
