Welcome to 2013′s first edition of ‘Something For The Weekend’ where we try to continue our winning streak from last week, where we even predicted Arsene Wenger’s jacket problems. The first weekend of the new year means the magic of the FA Cup and potential giant slayings, we all remember Hereford, Sutton and Wrexham – which satellite town or suburban sprawl will get their moment in the spotlight this weekend? It also provides a break for Fantasy Football managers up and down the land and a chance for Wigan Athletic fans to break the world record for most fans to enter the ground dressed as seats.
Where else is there to start this weekend than the Saturday lunchtime kick off between Brighton and Newcastle? Newcastle are in a shocking run of form at the moment and they won’t relish a wintry trip to the south coast. The Toon Army have lost nine of their last eleven games. Brighton’s form of late has been slightly patchy, however they beat Newcastle in the 4th Round last year and in young Will Buckley, they boast one of the hottest talents in the Championship. Alan Pardew’s men won’t enjoy this trip to the AMEX in their first game post Ba and I can see them getting caught with their pants down at the seaside.
Bet 365 offer 7/4 on The Seagulls picking up the spoils
in this one and I would offer similar odds on the Geordie fans getting confused by how unusually friendly the men are down south (especially in those pubs with the rainbow flags outside).
I am searching for upsets like a man who waits outside a cab rank looking to take home someone else’s drunken mess. Where better to head next than Crawley? A town that’s main claims to fame are that it is under the Gatwick flight path and being where Gareth Southgate grew up. However, this provides a chance for Crawley to put themselves on the map for more than just having a low literacy rate. The ‘Red Devils’ (yeah, they even stole their nickname) enjoyed a remarkable run in the cup in 2011 when ironically their run was ended by the team who ‘share’ their nickname and who also have the majority of their fanbase in Surrey (Manchester United). The
9/5 offered by Sky Bet on a Crawley upset
looks better value than Ian Harte’s ‘big fat gypsy fair two for one dodgems’ offer.
Where would an FA Cup preview be without looking at some of the non-league outfits? (no, I’m not talking about Helen Chamberlain’s wardrobe). Middlesbrough should prevail in the battle against Hastings and I can’t see Mansfield getting anything against an in form Liverpool side at Field Mill. Even although the last time I went to Mansfield, the only thing I returned with was chlamydia. However, my attention is drawn to Luton – a town famous for being the home of Vauxhall Motors, EasyJet and a fair amount of terrorists. Luton’s honours include the 1988 League Cup, the 2009 Football League Trophy and the ‘crappest town in Britain’ 2004. They face a Wolves side whose focus will be in maintaining mid table mediocrity in the Championship and they look to me the most likely of the Blue Square braves to progress to the fourth round –
Bet 365 offer 13/5 on The Hatters
producing a ‘mad’ upset at Kenilworth Road.
Other intriguing ties include a repeat of the 1987 Cup Final at White Hart Lane, but in form Spurs should prove too strong and I see the Sky Blues being sent to Coventry here. Has anyone else noticed that since Gareth Bale had his ears pinned back, he keeps falling over? The glamour tie of the round is at the Boleyn where West Ham face Manchester United, the Hammers famously beat United in a 2001 cup tie, when Paolo DiCanio scored a cheeky winner.
Sky Bet’s 9/2 on the Hammers looks worth a bang
(which is more than you can say for most Eastenders). What else can we expect? Mario Balotelli to get lost in a giant vagina in Watford whilst trying to escape the close attentions of Roberto Mancini. Arsenal to rest numerous players and to get a swording from Swansea’s conquistadors, Roy Keane to finally knock Adrian Chiles out. That’s the ‘magic of the FA Cup’ (obligatory cliche mention number two), you never know what to expect.
I’m off to teach Luis Suarez some nicknames that he is allowed to use when addressing Daniel Sturridge. By the way, I just had £100 on my three to go down in 2013 (Jim Davidson, Max Clifford and any girl in Mansfield if you buy them a couple of Lambrinis).
Ossie’s off to Wembley, his knees have gone all trembly….
By Jamie Ellis
